So lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what my boys will be like as teenagers. Yep, I like to worry about things at least a decade in the future. Though it’s many years away, it’s still on my mind. I was quite a moody and emotional teenager and had my moments of rebellion, but I never lost respect for my parents. I really want my kids to like me when they are teenagers. Is that too much to ask? The world is a different place nowadays, but I see families around me and know that it is possible. I also know that what’s happening right now in their lives will directly affect who they are in ten or twelve years.
I read a great parenting tip on Facebook recently, posted by a friend from high school. It talked about the importance of not only showing love and affection to your child, but also the importance of your child seeing you show love and affection towards others. Whether it’s your spouse, your own parents or the people you meet in stores and on the road, your child will see and do like you. It’s often easy to be loving toward your child, but what about the people in the store who might be frustrating you with their slowness – are you polite, kind and helpful? Are you respectful towards the elderly, gleaning from their wisdom, asking their advice? Do you want your child to seek your counsel when you are older?
This idea got me thinking about so many things. How do I respond to the sick, the weak, the less fortunate? How do I respond when I’m driving and someone makes a mistake? (Ouch!) What things am I doing that I really don’t want my child to do? If I want my child to love music, do I listen to lots of music or is the tv always on? Do I want my child to have a healthy lifestyle and yet they never see me enjoying exercise or eating right?
I’m not saying that you have to be perfect, in fact, I want my children to learn humility, integrity and honesty so it’s helpful for them to see me make mistakes, apologize and make amends. I want them to see me struggle with my issues and overcome them.
I also got to thinking about how focused I can be on my children, on their needs and what they want to do. I think it’s important that they see me have dreams of my own and take the time and energy to pursue those dreams.
We’re the strongest role model our kids will ever have. This is both exciting and terrifying to me. What an honor, what a responsibility. My oldest boy is three and a half and I’ve made so many mistakes already and yet we have our whole lives ahead and there is time to grow and get better. It’s truly humbling to have to say you’re sorry to a three year old, but it’s good for my soul. I haven’t made my last mistake by a long shot, but I hope next time I’ll be quicker to apologize and that I learn to do better and not make the same mistakes repeatedly!
Truly my children teach me more each day than I ever could have imagined.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Lessons from a Little Gardener
I asked Jude today what was his favorite thing about gardening. His most favorite thing is watering. His second and third favorite things were raking and digging. I sort of had to remind him about the actual fruits (or, in our case, vegetables, of our labors). Then, of course, he listed the vegetables that he likes most from our garden.
It was interesting for me to hear his thoughts on gardening. I often get so focused on the end result of things, that I forget to enjoy the process. I think that’s something that we can learn from children. They are so “in the moment” and intent on the “doing” rather than what they are going to get out of. For Jude, gardening is worth it, just because he gets to go to the tap, fill up the watering can, carry it to the plant boxes and water them everyday. To me, that’s just another chore to be done so that eventually we’ll have some flowers to look at and vegetables to eat from the garden.
How many times in my life do I rush through the process trying to achieve a result and miss out on the moments that the process gives to me? Whether it’s physical exercise, preparing a meal, teaching my children or going on a journey, too often I rush through the things that I have to do in order to get the desired result as quickly as possible without realizing what a gift the journey is. Feeling my body growing strong with each step, the air moving in and out of my lungs. Seeing the textures and colors come together in a meal, smelling the aromas. Seeing Jude’s eyes light up as he learns a new concept or even when he starts goofing off and making himself giggle. Taking time to look around rather than getting somewhere as quickly as I can.
So from a simple conversation with Jude, he’s taught me that I need to slow down and enjoy the process. Sure we can celebrate the harvest of the garden, the beauty of the flowers, but we can also enjoy the rush of water into a can, the cool drops hitting our feet in the hot sun and the simple joy of pouring water into dirt. Thanks Jude!
It was interesting for me to hear his thoughts on gardening. I often get so focused on the end result of things, that I forget to enjoy the process. I think that’s something that we can learn from children. They are so “in the moment” and intent on the “doing” rather than what they are going to get out of. For Jude, gardening is worth it, just because he gets to go to the tap, fill up the watering can, carry it to the plant boxes and water them everyday. To me, that’s just another chore to be done so that eventually we’ll have some flowers to look at and vegetables to eat from the garden.
How many times in my life do I rush through the process trying to achieve a result and miss out on the moments that the process gives to me? Whether it’s physical exercise, preparing a meal, teaching my children or going on a journey, too often I rush through the things that I have to do in order to get the desired result as quickly as possible without realizing what a gift the journey is. Feeling my body growing strong with each step, the air moving in and out of my lungs. Seeing the textures and colors come together in a meal, smelling the aromas. Seeing Jude’s eyes light up as he learns a new concept or even when he starts goofing off and making himself giggle. Taking time to look around rather than getting somewhere as quickly as I can.
So from a simple conversation with Jude, he’s taught me that I need to slow down and enjoy the process. Sure we can celebrate the harvest of the garden, the beauty of the flowers, but we can also enjoy the rush of water into a can, the cool drops hitting our feet in the hot sun and the simple joy of pouring water into dirt. Thanks Jude!
Mommy, Look At Me
So we went to the park the other day and I sat with Zane while he napped. Jude and Colin ran around on all the play equipment. Colin was pushing Jude on the swing, going higher and faster. Jude looked at me and said, “Look at me, Mommy!”
He’s saying that a lot more lately, but in that moment, when he was swinging and he so desperately wanted me to look at what he was doing, it really hit me.
There’s a lot wrapped up in that statement from a child to a parent. When Jude asks me to look at him, at what he’s doing, he’s making a statement about my importance in his life. He wants my validation for his activities, for who he is. He also wants to make sure that I approve, that I think he’s going to be safe and ok. He wants me to join him in that moment so that we can share it together. We can remember those times together.
He also saying that he’s growing more independent and doesn't need me in the same ways that he used to. When he’s climbed to the top of a play structure by himself and stands there a bit shaky, but so proud and yells, “Look at me, Mommy!”, he’s saying that he’s taking more chances and doing things without me. I know that will happen more and more, but for now, he still wants to include me in that adventure, even if it’s from a distance. I may want to run over and rescue him, to keep him safe, but it’s my job to smile and say, “I see you and I am so excited for your adventure!”
It’s not just a child’s nature to share our triumph’s and adventures. When I’ve achieved something - made a great meal, told a good joke, conquered a fear - I want to share that with someone. I want to yell, “Look at me!” Maybe that’s why I like Facebook and Twitter so much. It’s also why I call my Mom, my Dad, my Sister, my Colin when something cool happens - I want to share that moment. That’s how we are created. We are made to share life with others - our triumphs & tragedies.
So smile & wave when they say, “Look at me, Mommy!” and don’t forget to say “Look at me!” sometimes too!
He’s saying that a lot more lately, but in that moment, when he was swinging and he so desperately wanted me to look at what he was doing, it really hit me.
There’s a lot wrapped up in that statement from a child to a parent. When Jude asks me to look at him, at what he’s doing, he’s making a statement about my importance in his life. He wants my validation for his activities, for who he is. He also wants to make sure that I approve, that I think he’s going to be safe and ok. He wants me to join him in that moment so that we can share it together. We can remember those times together.
He also saying that he’s growing more independent and doesn't need me in the same ways that he used to. When he’s climbed to the top of a play structure by himself and stands there a bit shaky, but so proud and yells, “Look at me, Mommy!”, he’s saying that he’s taking more chances and doing things without me. I know that will happen more and more, but for now, he still wants to include me in that adventure, even if it’s from a distance. I may want to run over and rescue him, to keep him safe, but it’s my job to smile and say, “I see you and I am so excited for your adventure!”
It’s not just a child’s nature to share our triumph’s and adventures. When I’ve achieved something - made a great meal, told a good joke, conquered a fear - I want to share that with someone. I want to yell, “Look at me!” Maybe that’s why I like Facebook and Twitter so much. It’s also why I call my Mom, my Dad, my Sister, my Colin when something cool happens - I want to share that moment. That’s how we are created. We are made to share life with others - our triumphs & tragedies.
So smile & wave when they say, “Look at me, Mommy!” and don’t forget to say “Look at me!” sometimes too!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
January 12, 2010
Luke 12
“What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving…Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provision…Don’t be afraid of missing out. You’re my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very Kingdom itself.”
I’m a worrier, a fretter, I tend to get wrapped up in the details and can miss the big picture. I like to be in control, planning and plotting my own way. All the while worrying that I’m missing something. I actually live with a lot of fear. In my life, I’ve believed great things, I’ve had faith for God’s provision and yet I seem to lack the faith that He truly loves me and wants the best for me. I feel like I let God down in so many ways – I disappoint myself, therefore, I must disappoint Him daily.
Hearing about my Dad’s journey recently has inspired and challenged me. His assurance of God’s love for him makes me want to follow him on the path he’s been on. So I’ll be taking some steps that way.
In the meantime, I choose to believe that I am one of Jesus’ dear friends and that He wants the best for me.
I’ll be looking for some God-reality, God-initiative, God-provision to steep myself in.
“What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving…Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provision…Don’t be afraid of missing out. You’re my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very Kingdom itself.”
I’m a worrier, a fretter, I tend to get wrapped up in the details and can miss the big picture. I like to be in control, planning and plotting my own way. All the while worrying that I’m missing something. I actually live with a lot of fear. In my life, I’ve believed great things, I’ve had faith for God’s provision and yet I seem to lack the faith that He truly loves me and wants the best for me. I feel like I let God down in so many ways – I disappoint myself, therefore, I must disappoint Him daily.
Hearing about my Dad’s journey recently has inspired and challenged me. His assurance of God’s love for him makes me want to follow him on the path he’s been on. So I’ll be taking some steps that way.
In the meantime, I choose to believe that I am one of Jesus’ dear friends and that He wants the best for me.
I’ll be looking for some God-reality, God-initiative, God-provision to steep myself in.
January 7, 2010
Ephesians 5
"Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her…"
This passage is written to husbands, but I am so challenged by it. Sometimes I get so frustrated with Colin, I get defensive, I’m condescending. I get upset when he doesn’t do or say things that I want him to. My love has become very selfish and self-serving, I’m looking for what I can get and not what I can give.
True love builds, it doesn’t tear down. True love looks for the best, not for reasons to complain. It’s amazing to think that my love for Colin, for my boys, for others can actually help to make them whole, to display their beauty.
I want to love more. I want to love more purely. I want to love more selflessly.
"Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her…"
This passage is written to husbands, but I am so challenged by it. Sometimes I get so frustrated with Colin, I get defensive, I’m condescending. I get upset when he doesn’t do or say things that I want him to. My love has become very selfish and self-serving, I’m looking for what I can get and not what I can give.
True love builds, it doesn’t tear down. True love looks for the best, not for reasons to complain. It’s amazing to think that my love for Colin, for my boys, for others can actually help to make them whole, to display their beauty.
I want to love more. I want to love more purely. I want to love more selflessly.
January 6, 2010
Luke 6
This chapter is so rich, so full. I want to eat it, digest it. I want it to become part of me.
“You're blessed when you've lost it all.
God's kingdom is there for the finding.
You're blessed when you're ravenously hungry.
Then you're ready for the Messianic meal.
You're blessed when the tears flow freely.
Joy comes with the morning.”
I feel like this is where I’m at. I’m empty, I’m dry, I’m lost, I’m hungry. I’m ready to be filled, quenched, found and I’m ready for the Messianic Meal.
“But it's trouble ahead if you think you have it made.
What you have is all you'll ever get.
And it's trouble ahead if you're satisfied with yourself.
Your self will not satisfy you for long.
And it's trouble ahead if you think life's all fun and games.
There's suffering to be met, and you're going to meet it.”
I’ve rested on my laurels for too long. My family faith, my Christian experiences (missions, church career, leadership positions, Biblical knowledge, Christian school.) Those things aren’t wrong or wasted, but they aren’t fresh and vital. They are meaningless though without true relationship with my Saviour. So where do I go from here? I’m weary of formulas. What do I know? I know that I need to be in the Word of God. It’s how He communicates primarily. His Word is rich and fresh and challenging. I’m going to write my thoughts and share them with others in honesty and vulnerability. I’m going to read books that challenge and heal. I’m going to love in practical ways. I’m going to speak to God. I’m going to listen for his voice.
I’ve been a Christian for more than 30 years, I come from an amazing, faith-filled family, I’ve served God and His church for many years and in many ways. I’ve experienced seasons fo incredible passion and vitality in my relationship with God. All these things are part of the fabric of my life, but they are not enough to sustain me now. After years of faith and service, I feel like it’s time to find God again, to come like a child, to love and be loved.
This chapter is so rich, so full. I want to eat it, digest it. I want it to become part of me.
“You're blessed when you've lost it all.
God's kingdom is there for the finding.
You're blessed when you're ravenously hungry.
Then you're ready for the Messianic meal.
You're blessed when the tears flow freely.
Joy comes with the morning.”
I feel like this is where I’m at. I’m empty, I’m dry, I’m lost, I’m hungry. I’m ready to be filled, quenched, found and I’m ready for the Messianic Meal.
“But it's trouble ahead if you think you have it made.
What you have is all you'll ever get.
And it's trouble ahead if you're satisfied with yourself.
Your self will not satisfy you for long.
And it's trouble ahead if you think life's all fun and games.
There's suffering to be met, and you're going to meet it.”
I’ve rested on my laurels for too long. My family faith, my Christian experiences (missions, church career, leadership positions, Biblical knowledge, Christian school.) Those things aren’t wrong or wasted, but they aren’t fresh and vital. They are meaningless though without true relationship with my Saviour. So where do I go from here? I’m weary of formulas. What do I know? I know that I need to be in the Word of God. It’s how He communicates primarily. His Word is rich and fresh and challenging. I’m going to write my thoughts and share them with others in honesty and vulnerability. I’m going to read books that challenge and heal. I’m going to love in practical ways. I’m going to speak to God. I’m going to listen for his voice.
I’ve been a Christian for more than 30 years, I come from an amazing, faith-filled family, I’ve served God and His church for many years and in many ways. I’ve experienced seasons fo incredible passion and vitality in my relationship with God. All these things are part of the fabric of my life, but they are not enough to sustain me now. After years of faith and service, I feel like it’s time to find God again, to come like a child, to love and be loved.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Living With Intent - January 2010
People are pretty divided on the whole issue of New Year’s Resolutions. Strong opinions on both sides. Some people think that they are a great idea, an opportunity to make changes, set goals, make a fresh start. Other people think that they are a waste of time or that goals can be set and changes made at any time.
I do know that it’s easy to make resolutions and set new goals, but it’s not always east to stick with them. They seem like such a great idea at the end of the year, but on January 1st, they just seem like hard work.
Whatever time of year you choose, it’s good to take stock, evaluate and look ahead. It can even be good to do this more than once a year.
My parents have made a practice of this for many years and call it a mini retreat. My husband and I love to take the time together to look at our lives.
It is important to look back at where you’ve been, the good, the bad and the ugly. What can you learn about yourself, your habits, behavior patterns, what has brought you joy and what has caused you pain?
It’s important to look at where you are now. What’s working well? What isn’t?
And then there is the future. The wide-open, unknown future. What are your hopes and dreams? Are there habits that need to be broken or formed?
It’s great to take the time to ask yourself these questions as an individual and as a family. Life gets so busy, so loud, so cluttered that if we don’t get intentional and purposeful about life, it will sweep us along in a flood of circumstances and the everyday bustle of life.
I’ve been inspired recently by women that I know who are going back to school, who are taking charge of their health, who are branching out creatively, all the while still caring for their families.
It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed and to think that we’ll never find the time. However, a wise man once told me that people find the time to do what they want to do. What do you want to do? It may be something as small and practical as doing some painting or cooking from a recipe once a week. It might be going back to school or saving money to go on a missions trip.
Whatever it is, I encourage you to take a look at your life, to dream, to plan and to live intentionally.
I do know that it’s easy to make resolutions and set new goals, but it’s not always east to stick with them. They seem like such a great idea at the end of the year, but on January 1st, they just seem like hard work.
Whatever time of year you choose, it’s good to take stock, evaluate and look ahead. It can even be good to do this more than once a year.
My parents have made a practice of this for many years and call it a mini retreat. My husband and I love to take the time together to look at our lives.
It is important to look back at where you’ve been, the good, the bad and the ugly. What can you learn about yourself, your habits, behavior patterns, what has brought you joy and what has caused you pain?
It’s important to look at where you are now. What’s working well? What isn’t?
And then there is the future. The wide-open, unknown future. What are your hopes and dreams? Are there habits that need to be broken or formed?
It’s great to take the time to ask yourself these questions as an individual and as a family. Life gets so busy, so loud, so cluttered that if we don’t get intentional and purposeful about life, it will sweep us along in a flood of circumstances and the everyday bustle of life.
I’ve been inspired recently by women that I know who are going back to school, who are taking charge of their health, who are branching out creatively, all the while still caring for their families.
It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed and to think that we’ll never find the time. However, a wise man once told me that people find the time to do what they want to do. What do you want to do? It may be something as small and practical as doing some painting or cooking from a recipe once a week. It might be going back to school or saving money to go on a missions trip.
Whatever it is, I encourage you to take a look at your life, to dream, to plan and to live intentionally.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
