Autumn

So do you say Fall or Autumn? I use both actually, but I love the word Autumn more. I adore this time of year. It's my favourite, though there are things I love about each season. I lived on a tropical island for over four years so I have a real appreciation for seasons.

I thought I would just share some of the things that I love about Autumn. This isn't an exhaustive list by any means.

* The temperature drops. I'm not a huge fan of hot weather so I like it when it cools down. I like being outside in the Fall, I like warmer clothes, I love boots and hats and scarves.
It's just so darn beautiful. The colours! The trees.
* Crunchy leaves all around.
* Culinary delights. Pumpkins, squash, hearty stews and soups, the thought of Thanksgiving dinner not too far away, hot drinks, mulled wine and cider, caramel apples. So many good things come out to be eaten in the Fall!
* Playing in the leaves.
* Getting the house ready for winter - cleaning the heaters and turning them on, getting the hoses put away, putting in the vent plugs, harvesting the last of the garden produce and preparing it for winter.
* Wrapping up in a blanket with a hot drink and reading for an hour (who am I kidding, 20 minutes!)
* Cool nights, getting into bed and feeling the crisp, cold sheets begin to warm up, snuggling down under the covers.
* Did I mention boots? I love boots!

Disappointment

Has anyone ever disappointed you in a profound way? Have you ever disappointed someone deeply?

I know that I disappoint myself quite regularly - in big ways and small ways. My latest disappointment to myself is using my last, albeit, incredibly rough bout of sickness as an excuse to go off my eating and exercise plan. I think I am allowed a bit of lenience but I have let it go on too long. I love eating right and exercising, when I'm doing it. I don't like giving up my seeming pleasures and laziness, but once I do, I love it. So I am disappointed in myself, but ready to get going again.

I'm also quite disappointed in someone that I know. It's hard to know how much to say in such a public forum, but I find it incredibly hard to respect this person anymore. They are still speaking in high and lofty terms which, to me, are at odds to they way they have chosen to behave and the pain and hurt they have caused.

Knowing how much I disappoint myself, God and others, I don't want to judge this person. But, honestly, I do. I deep down do. I'm actually so judgemental I amaze myself and not in a good way. I wish I wasn't. I will work on not being this way.

It's funny because when I was growing up, I was so black and white about everything. There was a right and a wrong and I was on the side of right. I was fierce. As I've gotten older, I have become more tolerant. There is much more grey in my world these days. At one time I would have considered that a weakness, because I considered grey a sign of compromise. Nowadays, I tend to judge those who are staunch and inflexible more, those "black and white" kind of people. I think I've learned a lot about grace, I hope I've learned a lot more about God. Still, that judgemental side seems to rise up in me, and I climb up on my high horse and ride off again.

Anyway, back to this mystery person. I don't have to see them everyday, or deal with them much at all. That helps. I know, however, that I need to release them, despite the fact that they may not change, and that they may continue to lie and hurt others. I long to be released myself, from all my sins and shortcomings. Isn't that what we all long for? Grace. I want it desperately, help me to give it freely as well.

It's All Yours

So, I'm not a big fan of Steven Curtis Chapman. Nothing against him, just haven't ever been into him. My friend, Chris, wrote on my Facebook and said she had been listening to a SCC song that talked about London and Uganda and she thought of me. London and Uganda? Of course, I was curious so I asked her about it and found out what song it is. It's called "Yours". It talks about 2 of my favourite places on this planet in ways that resound with me. My heart yearns for good things for the people of London and Uganda. Anyway, the song is long, but good. He's recently rewritten and recorded a new version that includes a verse that references the recent death of his daughter. That's not the version I've included here, though it's really good.

Here it is.

37 Things

I had my 37th birthday a couple of weeks ago. Following Katie and Bo's example, I've decided to list my 37 favourite things as of this moment (in no particular order).

1. September (sadly it's passed for another year) It's the beginning of Autumn, my favourite season and it's also the month that gave me Colin Blackett, but that's a story for another number.
2. Colin Blackett - my best friend, my son's amazing father and a wonderful husband (also born in September).
3. London, England - it's hard to describe, but it's probably my true home, my heart's home.
4. Jude Lewis Blackett - my joy, my challenge, my greatest achievement though I feel I've had little to do with how wonderful he is. He's funny, he's clever, he's a great teacher.
5. Water - in all its many wonderful forms - oceans, rivers, lakes, rain, snow, ice, in a tall cold glass, dew...
6. Science Fiction - love it, it's taken me places that my feet can never go.
7. Jim Stephens - my Dad. Amazingly wise, incredibly up to date on just about everything, well-read, the best teacher ever, a wonderful writer and open-minded. I hope I grow up to be like him.
8. Jean Stephens - my Mom. Incredibly faithful, brave, badger-like loyalty (you don't want to mess with her family!), wise, an amazing teacher, and, of course, the best Grandma ever. I hope I grow up to be like her.
9. Magazines - I love magazines, I'm taking a year or so off of new subscriptions, but I do love them. Fashion magazines - In Style and Vogue are favs, Real Simple, Parenting Mags, Paste Music, Relevant, Layers...read on.
10. Stephanie Smith - my sister, my best friend. We're shared so much over the years including all the usually sibling fights, but we're still friends. She is so incredibly generous, sensitive, strong, creative, talented and she's also a great wife and mom. I hope I grow up to be like her. She's also got a super husband, Philip and a wonderful son, Jesse.
11. New Zealand. I love NZ first and foremost because it brought me Colin. However, it's also breathtakingly beautiful, rugged, fun, friendly. They didn't have to do much to make it look like Middle Earth and Narnia, I think heaven will look a lot like New Zealand.
12. Books - nuf said.
13. Wood floors.
14. Art galleries.
15. Purses. I love them in all their shapes and sizes, but unfortunately I don't last too long without a big bag. I am, however, on a seemingly never-ending search for the perfect handbag.
16. Guinness.
17. English cider.
18. English pubs.
19. Youth with a Mission. It certainly has its faults, but it's good at it's heart and I love it and am thankful for it.
20. Our small group - also known as the Game and Fun group.
21. PBS Kids.
22. The library.
23. Bob Ross
24. Sign Language for kids.
25. God. Faithful. I'm often not faithful, but He always is.
26. Netflix.
27. Thanksgiving Dinner - I love traditional Thanksgiving Dinner, but our family always mixes it up by choosing a different international flavor for each year.
28. Digital cameras.
29. The internet.
30. Spark People. It's helping me get healthy again.
31. My garden.
32. Faraway friends. I don't love that they are faraway, but I love them.
33. Hope. I'd be lost without it.
34. Shoes.
35. Facebook.
36. Reading to Jude.
37. Listening to Colin play with Jude.