So lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what my boys will be like as teenagers. Yep, I like to worry about things at least a decade in the future. Though it’s many years away, it’s still on my mind. I was quite a moody and emotional teenager and had my moments of rebellion, but I never lost respect for my parents. I really want my kids to like me when they are teenagers. Is that too much to ask? The world is a different place nowadays, but I see families around me and know that it is possible. I also know that what’s happening right now in their lives will directly affect who they are in ten or twelve years.
I read a great parenting tip on Facebook recently, posted by a friend from high school. It talked about the importance of not only showing love and affection to your child, but also the importance of your child seeing you show love and affection towards others. Whether it’s your spouse, your own parents or the people you meet in stores and on the road, your child will see and do like you. It’s often easy to be loving toward your child, but what about the people in the store who might be frustrating you with their slowness – are you polite, kind and helpful? Are you respectful towards the elderly, gleaning from their wisdom, asking their advice? Do you want your child to seek your counsel when you are older?
This idea got me thinking about so many things. How do I respond to the sick, the weak, the less fortunate? How do I respond when I’m driving and someone makes a mistake? (Ouch!) What things am I doing that I really don’t want my child to do? If I want my child to love music, do I listen to lots of music or is the tv always on? Do I want my child to have a healthy lifestyle and yet they never see me enjoying exercise or eating right?
I’m not saying that you have to be perfect, in fact, I want my children to learn humility, integrity and honesty so it’s helpful for them to see me make mistakes, apologize and make amends. I want them to see me struggle with my issues and overcome them.
I also got to thinking about how focused I can be on my children, on their needs and what they want to do. I think it’s important that they see me have dreams of my own and take the time and energy to pursue those dreams.
We’re the strongest role model our kids will ever have. This is both exciting and terrifying to me. What an honor, what a responsibility. My oldest boy is three and a half and I’ve made so many mistakes already and yet we have our whole lives ahead and there is time to grow and get better. It’s truly humbling to have to say you’re sorry to a three year old, but it’s good for my soul. I haven’t made my last mistake by a long shot, but I hope next time I’ll be quicker to apologize and that I learn to do better and not make the same mistakes repeatedly!
Truly my children teach me more each day than I ever could have imagined.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Lessons from a Little Gardener
I asked Jude today what was his favorite thing about gardening. His most favorite thing is watering. His second and third favorite things were raking and digging. I sort of had to remind him about the actual fruits (or, in our case, vegetables, of our labors). Then, of course, he listed the vegetables that he likes most from our garden.
It was interesting for me to hear his thoughts on gardening. I often get so focused on the end result of things, that I forget to enjoy the process. I think that’s something that we can learn from children. They are so “in the moment” and intent on the “doing” rather than what they are going to get out of. For Jude, gardening is worth it, just because he gets to go to the tap, fill up the watering can, carry it to the plant boxes and water them everyday. To me, that’s just another chore to be done so that eventually we’ll have some flowers to look at and vegetables to eat from the garden.
How many times in my life do I rush through the process trying to achieve a result and miss out on the moments that the process gives to me? Whether it’s physical exercise, preparing a meal, teaching my children or going on a journey, too often I rush through the things that I have to do in order to get the desired result as quickly as possible without realizing what a gift the journey is. Feeling my body growing strong with each step, the air moving in and out of my lungs. Seeing the textures and colors come together in a meal, smelling the aromas. Seeing Jude’s eyes light up as he learns a new concept or even when he starts goofing off and making himself giggle. Taking time to look around rather than getting somewhere as quickly as I can.
So from a simple conversation with Jude, he’s taught me that I need to slow down and enjoy the process. Sure we can celebrate the harvest of the garden, the beauty of the flowers, but we can also enjoy the rush of water into a can, the cool drops hitting our feet in the hot sun and the simple joy of pouring water into dirt. Thanks Jude!
It was interesting for me to hear his thoughts on gardening. I often get so focused on the end result of things, that I forget to enjoy the process. I think that’s something that we can learn from children. They are so “in the moment” and intent on the “doing” rather than what they are going to get out of. For Jude, gardening is worth it, just because he gets to go to the tap, fill up the watering can, carry it to the plant boxes and water them everyday. To me, that’s just another chore to be done so that eventually we’ll have some flowers to look at and vegetables to eat from the garden.
How many times in my life do I rush through the process trying to achieve a result and miss out on the moments that the process gives to me? Whether it’s physical exercise, preparing a meal, teaching my children or going on a journey, too often I rush through the things that I have to do in order to get the desired result as quickly as possible without realizing what a gift the journey is. Feeling my body growing strong with each step, the air moving in and out of my lungs. Seeing the textures and colors come together in a meal, smelling the aromas. Seeing Jude’s eyes light up as he learns a new concept or even when he starts goofing off and making himself giggle. Taking time to look around rather than getting somewhere as quickly as I can.
So from a simple conversation with Jude, he’s taught me that I need to slow down and enjoy the process. Sure we can celebrate the harvest of the garden, the beauty of the flowers, but we can also enjoy the rush of water into a can, the cool drops hitting our feet in the hot sun and the simple joy of pouring water into dirt. Thanks Jude!
Mommy, Look At Me
So we went to the park the other day and I sat with Zane while he napped. Jude and Colin ran around on all the play equipment. Colin was pushing Jude on the swing, going higher and faster. Jude looked at me and said, “Look at me, Mommy!”
He’s saying that a lot more lately, but in that moment, when he was swinging and he so desperately wanted me to look at what he was doing, it really hit me.
There’s a lot wrapped up in that statement from a child to a parent. When Jude asks me to look at him, at what he’s doing, he’s making a statement about my importance in his life. He wants my validation for his activities, for who he is. He also wants to make sure that I approve, that I think he’s going to be safe and ok. He wants me to join him in that moment so that we can share it together. We can remember those times together.
He also saying that he’s growing more independent and doesn't need me in the same ways that he used to. When he’s climbed to the top of a play structure by himself and stands there a bit shaky, but so proud and yells, “Look at me, Mommy!”, he’s saying that he’s taking more chances and doing things without me. I know that will happen more and more, but for now, he still wants to include me in that adventure, even if it’s from a distance. I may want to run over and rescue him, to keep him safe, but it’s my job to smile and say, “I see you and I am so excited for your adventure!”
It’s not just a child’s nature to share our triumph’s and adventures. When I’ve achieved something - made a great meal, told a good joke, conquered a fear - I want to share that with someone. I want to yell, “Look at me!” Maybe that’s why I like Facebook and Twitter so much. It’s also why I call my Mom, my Dad, my Sister, my Colin when something cool happens - I want to share that moment. That’s how we are created. We are made to share life with others - our triumphs & tragedies.
So smile & wave when they say, “Look at me, Mommy!” and don’t forget to say “Look at me!” sometimes too!
He’s saying that a lot more lately, but in that moment, when he was swinging and he so desperately wanted me to look at what he was doing, it really hit me.
There’s a lot wrapped up in that statement from a child to a parent. When Jude asks me to look at him, at what he’s doing, he’s making a statement about my importance in his life. He wants my validation for his activities, for who he is. He also wants to make sure that I approve, that I think he’s going to be safe and ok. He wants me to join him in that moment so that we can share it together. We can remember those times together.
He also saying that he’s growing more independent and doesn't need me in the same ways that he used to. When he’s climbed to the top of a play structure by himself and stands there a bit shaky, but so proud and yells, “Look at me, Mommy!”, he’s saying that he’s taking more chances and doing things without me. I know that will happen more and more, but for now, he still wants to include me in that adventure, even if it’s from a distance. I may want to run over and rescue him, to keep him safe, but it’s my job to smile and say, “I see you and I am so excited for your adventure!”
It’s not just a child’s nature to share our triumph’s and adventures. When I’ve achieved something - made a great meal, told a good joke, conquered a fear - I want to share that with someone. I want to yell, “Look at me!” Maybe that’s why I like Facebook and Twitter so much. It’s also why I call my Mom, my Dad, my Sister, my Colin when something cool happens - I want to share that moment. That’s how we are created. We are made to share life with others - our triumphs & tragedies.
So smile & wave when they say, “Look at me, Mommy!” and don’t forget to say “Look at me!” sometimes too!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
January 12, 2010
Luke 12
“What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving…Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provision…Don’t be afraid of missing out. You’re my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very Kingdom itself.”
I’m a worrier, a fretter, I tend to get wrapped up in the details and can miss the big picture. I like to be in control, planning and plotting my own way. All the while worrying that I’m missing something. I actually live with a lot of fear. In my life, I’ve believed great things, I’ve had faith for God’s provision and yet I seem to lack the faith that He truly loves me and wants the best for me. I feel like I let God down in so many ways – I disappoint myself, therefore, I must disappoint Him daily.
Hearing about my Dad’s journey recently has inspired and challenged me. His assurance of God’s love for him makes me want to follow him on the path he’s been on. So I’ll be taking some steps that way.
In the meantime, I choose to believe that I am one of Jesus’ dear friends and that He wants the best for me.
I’ll be looking for some God-reality, God-initiative, God-provision to steep myself in.
“What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving…Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provision…Don’t be afraid of missing out. You’re my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very Kingdom itself.”
I’m a worrier, a fretter, I tend to get wrapped up in the details and can miss the big picture. I like to be in control, planning and plotting my own way. All the while worrying that I’m missing something. I actually live with a lot of fear. In my life, I’ve believed great things, I’ve had faith for God’s provision and yet I seem to lack the faith that He truly loves me and wants the best for me. I feel like I let God down in so many ways – I disappoint myself, therefore, I must disappoint Him daily.
Hearing about my Dad’s journey recently has inspired and challenged me. His assurance of God’s love for him makes me want to follow him on the path he’s been on. So I’ll be taking some steps that way.
In the meantime, I choose to believe that I am one of Jesus’ dear friends and that He wants the best for me.
I’ll be looking for some God-reality, God-initiative, God-provision to steep myself in.
January 7, 2010
Ephesians 5
"Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her…"
This passage is written to husbands, but I am so challenged by it. Sometimes I get so frustrated with Colin, I get defensive, I’m condescending. I get upset when he doesn’t do or say things that I want him to. My love has become very selfish and self-serving, I’m looking for what I can get and not what I can give.
True love builds, it doesn’t tear down. True love looks for the best, not for reasons to complain. It’s amazing to think that my love for Colin, for my boys, for others can actually help to make them whole, to display their beauty.
I want to love more. I want to love more purely. I want to love more selflessly.
"Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her…"
This passage is written to husbands, but I am so challenged by it. Sometimes I get so frustrated with Colin, I get defensive, I’m condescending. I get upset when he doesn’t do or say things that I want him to. My love has become very selfish and self-serving, I’m looking for what I can get and not what I can give.
True love builds, it doesn’t tear down. True love looks for the best, not for reasons to complain. It’s amazing to think that my love for Colin, for my boys, for others can actually help to make them whole, to display their beauty.
I want to love more. I want to love more purely. I want to love more selflessly.
January 6, 2010
Luke 6
This chapter is so rich, so full. I want to eat it, digest it. I want it to become part of me.
“You're blessed when you've lost it all.
God's kingdom is there for the finding.
You're blessed when you're ravenously hungry.
Then you're ready for the Messianic meal.
You're blessed when the tears flow freely.
Joy comes with the morning.”
I feel like this is where I’m at. I’m empty, I’m dry, I’m lost, I’m hungry. I’m ready to be filled, quenched, found and I’m ready for the Messianic Meal.
“But it's trouble ahead if you think you have it made.
What you have is all you'll ever get.
And it's trouble ahead if you're satisfied with yourself.
Your self will not satisfy you for long.
And it's trouble ahead if you think life's all fun and games.
There's suffering to be met, and you're going to meet it.”
I’ve rested on my laurels for too long. My family faith, my Christian experiences (missions, church career, leadership positions, Biblical knowledge, Christian school.) Those things aren’t wrong or wasted, but they aren’t fresh and vital. They are meaningless though without true relationship with my Saviour. So where do I go from here? I’m weary of formulas. What do I know? I know that I need to be in the Word of God. It’s how He communicates primarily. His Word is rich and fresh and challenging. I’m going to write my thoughts and share them with others in honesty and vulnerability. I’m going to read books that challenge and heal. I’m going to love in practical ways. I’m going to speak to God. I’m going to listen for his voice.
I’ve been a Christian for more than 30 years, I come from an amazing, faith-filled family, I’ve served God and His church for many years and in many ways. I’ve experienced seasons fo incredible passion and vitality in my relationship with God. All these things are part of the fabric of my life, but they are not enough to sustain me now. After years of faith and service, I feel like it’s time to find God again, to come like a child, to love and be loved.
This chapter is so rich, so full. I want to eat it, digest it. I want it to become part of me.
“You're blessed when you've lost it all.
God's kingdom is there for the finding.
You're blessed when you're ravenously hungry.
Then you're ready for the Messianic meal.
You're blessed when the tears flow freely.
Joy comes with the morning.”
I feel like this is where I’m at. I’m empty, I’m dry, I’m lost, I’m hungry. I’m ready to be filled, quenched, found and I’m ready for the Messianic Meal.
“But it's trouble ahead if you think you have it made.
What you have is all you'll ever get.
And it's trouble ahead if you're satisfied with yourself.
Your self will not satisfy you for long.
And it's trouble ahead if you think life's all fun and games.
There's suffering to be met, and you're going to meet it.”
I’ve rested on my laurels for too long. My family faith, my Christian experiences (missions, church career, leadership positions, Biblical knowledge, Christian school.) Those things aren’t wrong or wasted, but they aren’t fresh and vital. They are meaningless though without true relationship with my Saviour. So where do I go from here? I’m weary of formulas. What do I know? I know that I need to be in the Word of God. It’s how He communicates primarily. His Word is rich and fresh and challenging. I’m going to write my thoughts and share them with others in honesty and vulnerability. I’m going to read books that challenge and heal. I’m going to love in practical ways. I’m going to speak to God. I’m going to listen for his voice.
I’ve been a Christian for more than 30 years, I come from an amazing, faith-filled family, I’ve served God and His church for many years and in many ways. I’ve experienced seasons fo incredible passion and vitality in my relationship with God. All these things are part of the fabric of my life, but they are not enough to sustain me now. After years of faith and service, I feel like it’s time to find God again, to come like a child, to love and be loved.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Living With Intent - January 2010
People are pretty divided on the whole issue of New Year’s Resolutions. Strong opinions on both sides. Some people think that they are a great idea, an opportunity to make changes, set goals, make a fresh start. Other people think that they are a waste of time or that goals can be set and changes made at any time.
I do know that it’s easy to make resolutions and set new goals, but it’s not always east to stick with them. They seem like such a great idea at the end of the year, but on January 1st, they just seem like hard work.
Whatever time of year you choose, it’s good to take stock, evaluate and look ahead. It can even be good to do this more than once a year.
My parents have made a practice of this for many years and call it a mini retreat. My husband and I love to take the time together to look at our lives.
It is important to look back at where you’ve been, the good, the bad and the ugly. What can you learn about yourself, your habits, behavior patterns, what has brought you joy and what has caused you pain?
It’s important to look at where you are now. What’s working well? What isn’t?
And then there is the future. The wide-open, unknown future. What are your hopes and dreams? Are there habits that need to be broken or formed?
It’s great to take the time to ask yourself these questions as an individual and as a family. Life gets so busy, so loud, so cluttered that if we don’t get intentional and purposeful about life, it will sweep us along in a flood of circumstances and the everyday bustle of life.
I’ve been inspired recently by women that I know who are going back to school, who are taking charge of their health, who are branching out creatively, all the while still caring for their families.
It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed and to think that we’ll never find the time. However, a wise man once told me that people find the time to do what they want to do. What do you want to do? It may be something as small and practical as doing some painting or cooking from a recipe once a week. It might be going back to school or saving money to go on a missions trip.
Whatever it is, I encourage you to take a look at your life, to dream, to plan and to live intentionally.
I do know that it’s easy to make resolutions and set new goals, but it’s not always east to stick with them. They seem like such a great idea at the end of the year, but on January 1st, they just seem like hard work.
Whatever time of year you choose, it’s good to take stock, evaluate and look ahead. It can even be good to do this more than once a year.
My parents have made a practice of this for many years and call it a mini retreat. My husband and I love to take the time together to look at our lives.
It is important to look back at where you’ve been, the good, the bad and the ugly. What can you learn about yourself, your habits, behavior patterns, what has brought you joy and what has caused you pain?
It’s important to look at where you are now. What’s working well? What isn’t?
And then there is the future. The wide-open, unknown future. What are your hopes and dreams? Are there habits that need to be broken or formed?
It’s great to take the time to ask yourself these questions as an individual and as a family. Life gets so busy, so loud, so cluttered that if we don’t get intentional and purposeful about life, it will sweep us along in a flood of circumstances and the everyday bustle of life.
I’ve been inspired recently by women that I know who are going back to school, who are taking charge of their health, who are branching out creatively, all the while still caring for their families.
It’s so easy to feel overwhelmed and to think that we’ll never find the time. However, a wise man once told me that people find the time to do what they want to do. What do you want to do? It may be something as small and practical as doing some painting or cooking from a recipe once a week. It might be going back to school or saving money to go on a missions trip.
Whatever it is, I encourage you to take a look at your life, to dream, to plan and to live intentionally.
In The Moment and Thankful - November 2009
In the Moment
I was talking to my Dad recently about some things that he is thinking about and exploring. He is the wisest man that I know. I hope that when I am 66 I will still be seeking and learning like he is. Anyway, he was talking about learning to be in the moment. He said that he has to stop himself regularly and make himself be in a moment, not in the past, not in the future.
This is a concept that sounds wonderful to me, but pretty darn tough in practice. I spend a tremendous amount of time wishing I could change the past and day dreaming about the future. As a woman, I’m almost always multi-tasking as well. I’ve always got something in mind that I need to be doing or planning or finding. (I have a list in my “notebook” of things that I’ve lost and that I’m always looking for, sad, I know.)
But I want to be IN the moments of my life. I want to be present in the moment when Jude tells me that Jesus loves me. I want to be present in the moment when Zane laughs with abandon as only a baby can do. I want to be present in the moment when Colin is talking to me about his hopes and dreams. I also want to be present in my own moments, when it’s just me, whether I’m reading a book or listening to music or creating something, I want to experience it and not be worried about a To Do List or wishing I had a bigger house or regretting a choice that I made earlier.
I’ve got a long way to go, I know. But I’ll take the small steps and each one will be a victory for me.
Thankful
I love Thanksgiving for so many reasons. Family is the biggest reason. Every year we get together and celebrate each other and the many blessings in our lives.
One of our traditions is that we pick a country or region each year and make our Thanksgiving meal in that style. We’ve done Jamaica, Cajun, Southern, Mexican, Italian to name a few. This year we are doing a French theme - yummy! Oui, oui!
I always look forward to the reminder that Thanksgiving is of all we have to be thankful for - as a nation and as individuals. I want to be an example of gratefulness to my children.
I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving and encourage you to stay thankful all year long and to express your love to those that you are grateful for!
I was talking to my Dad recently about some things that he is thinking about and exploring. He is the wisest man that I know. I hope that when I am 66 I will still be seeking and learning like he is. Anyway, he was talking about learning to be in the moment. He said that he has to stop himself regularly and make himself be in a moment, not in the past, not in the future.
This is a concept that sounds wonderful to me, but pretty darn tough in practice. I spend a tremendous amount of time wishing I could change the past and day dreaming about the future. As a woman, I’m almost always multi-tasking as well. I’ve always got something in mind that I need to be doing or planning or finding. (I have a list in my “notebook” of things that I’ve lost and that I’m always looking for, sad, I know.)
But I want to be IN the moments of my life. I want to be present in the moment when Jude tells me that Jesus loves me. I want to be present in the moment when Zane laughs with abandon as only a baby can do. I want to be present in the moment when Colin is talking to me about his hopes and dreams. I also want to be present in my own moments, when it’s just me, whether I’m reading a book or listening to music or creating something, I want to experience it and not be worried about a To Do List or wishing I had a bigger house or regretting a choice that I made earlier.
I’ve got a long way to go, I know. But I’ll take the small steps and each one will be a victory for me.
Thankful
I love Thanksgiving for so many reasons. Family is the biggest reason. Every year we get together and celebrate each other and the many blessings in our lives.
One of our traditions is that we pick a country or region each year and make our Thanksgiving meal in that style. We’ve done Jamaica, Cajun, Southern, Mexican, Italian to name a few. This year we are doing a French theme - yummy! Oui, oui!
I always look forward to the reminder that Thanksgiving is of all we have to be thankful for - as a nation and as individuals. I want to be an example of gratefulness to my children.
I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving and encourage you to stay thankful all year long and to express your love to those that you are grateful for!
Kids Say (and do) the Darndest Things - October 2009
Jude just hauled the giant copy of "What to Expect the Toddler Years" downstairs & presented it to me. Is he warning me about something?
This was one of my Tweets/Facebook status updates a couple of days ago.
When Jude was younger, he did lots of cute and amazing things. Now that he’s more mobile and communicative, he does and says some really funny things. I love it and I never want to forget these moments. I know I will forget though, unless I make the effort to record the memories. I also want lots of great stories to share with the boy’s girlfriends in a few years!
I struggled for a while with recording though - it seemed to never happen! I always intended to write it down, but the moment would pass and I would forget.
Then I got into Facebook and then Twitter. I loved being able to share these family moments with my friends and family. The cute, funny, scary and outrageous things that my kids do.
I was actually trying to remember a particular situation and couldn’t recall the details, but I remembered that I “Tweeted” it. So I was looking back through the Tweets and found what I was looking for. In the process, I realized that I had an amazing record of many of our precious family moments.
I decided then, that I would go back to when I began on Facebook in September of 2007and embark on the tedious task of cutting and pasting all those status updates into a Word document. It took a bit of time, but I eventually got it done. I called the document “Family Moments” and I keep it handy on my computer these days. About once a week I go and copy all my status updates into this document. I sometimes add other things that don’t go on Facebook or I’ll expand on something that I briefly updated on Facebook.
I also love to see the updates of my friends and family around the world. I laugh, empathize and sympathize. It’s also great to read the comments on my own updates. I feel like I am sharing this journey with other Moms and families. And it’s not just the cute and funny moments, it’s the struggles and the fears. Having children is an overwhelming thing and it’s so good to know that we aren’t alone in our doubts, our frustrations and fears.
Whether you Tweet, blog, Facebook, keep a journal or scribble those family moments on scraps of paper - keep it up. Tell those cute stories to friends and family, tell them to me, I love to hear family stories, mom stories, kid stories! The moments pass quickly and will be forgotten if we don’t record them. If we record them, we can share them for years to come.
If you aren’t recording your family moments or sharing your family moments, I would encourage you to do so. Figure out what works best for you and just do it! You won’t ever regret it.
I leave you with this gem that I Tweeted in May of this year: “Jude just came over to me and stood there - I asked what he wanted and he said “hugs” - happy me!
This was one of my Tweets/Facebook status updates a couple of days ago.
When Jude was younger, he did lots of cute and amazing things. Now that he’s more mobile and communicative, he does and says some really funny things. I love it and I never want to forget these moments. I know I will forget though, unless I make the effort to record the memories. I also want lots of great stories to share with the boy’s girlfriends in a few years!
I struggled for a while with recording though - it seemed to never happen! I always intended to write it down, but the moment would pass and I would forget.
Then I got into Facebook and then Twitter. I loved being able to share these family moments with my friends and family. The cute, funny, scary and outrageous things that my kids do.
I was actually trying to remember a particular situation and couldn’t recall the details, but I remembered that I “Tweeted” it. So I was looking back through the Tweets and found what I was looking for. In the process, I realized that I had an amazing record of many of our precious family moments.
I decided then, that I would go back to when I began on Facebook in September of 2007and embark on the tedious task of cutting and pasting all those status updates into a Word document. It took a bit of time, but I eventually got it done. I called the document “Family Moments” and I keep it handy on my computer these days. About once a week I go and copy all my status updates into this document. I sometimes add other things that don’t go on Facebook or I’ll expand on something that I briefly updated on Facebook.
I also love to see the updates of my friends and family around the world. I laugh, empathize and sympathize. It’s also great to read the comments on my own updates. I feel like I am sharing this journey with other Moms and families. And it’s not just the cute and funny moments, it’s the struggles and the fears. Having children is an overwhelming thing and it’s so good to know that we aren’t alone in our doubts, our frustrations and fears.
Whether you Tweet, blog, Facebook, keep a journal or scribble those family moments on scraps of paper - keep it up. Tell those cute stories to friends and family, tell them to me, I love to hear family stories, mom stories, kid stories! The moments pass quickly and will be forgotten if we don’t record them. If we record them, we can share them for years to come.
If you aren’t recording your family moments or sharing your family moments, I would encourage you to do so. Figure out what works best for you and just do it! You won’t ever regret it.
I leave you with this gem that I Tweeted in May of this year: “Jude just came over to me and stood there - I asked what he wanted and he said “hugs” - happy me!
Are You Falling for Fall? September 2009
Welcome to Westside MOPS! We’re so glad that you are with us this year. We’ve got some exciting plans in store and look forward to sharing life together.
Can you believe that it’s September already? I love September, Fall is arriving. To me, Fall is as much about new beginnings as January or Spring. There’s excitement in the air, anticipation. I love it!
That being said, Summer was an interesting time for me this year. I gave birth to my second son, Zane. Nothing like a having baby around to get you thinking about new beginnings. While I am awake at 4 o’clock in the morning, I’m not always thinking happy new beginning thoughts, but when my sleep deprived fog clears at times, I think about new life and the future.
I didn’t have a terribly easy pregnancy, not as bad as many, but it was tough. I was sick pretty much from start to finish and I feel like I let things slide during that time. Jude watched a lot of “Baby Einstein”. That’s another reason I’m looking forward to this Fall season, it’s a chance to get back on track and to blaze new trails.
I’ve been thinking about the kind of people I hope my boys grow up to be. I’ve been thinking about the kind of memories that I hope they have when they are my age. While I don’t think that we can orchestrate every aspect of our lives, nor can we manufacture memories, we can set the stage, we can make space to create life, rather than just having life happen to us.
For me that has meant creating a schedule of sorts for our family. Setting aside time to exercise together, to be creative, to play, as well as the not so fun, but just as necessary things like chores. It’s too easy for me to just drift and not take the time to enjoy what life together means. I get caught up in tv, making sure we watch our Netflix dvds, and just “coping”. I want to be more deliberate in my life.
So that’s what’s been on my mind lately. I’m looking forward to this new season - both naturally and metaphorically. How about you? Are you excited about what’s ahead? Have you made time and space in your life to explore, to create, to experience? If life is happening too fast, how can you and your family put the brakes on a little and slow down?
Let me know your creative ideas for carving out time with family and what you do with that time. I’m always open to new ideas!
Can you believe that it’s September already? I love September, Fall is arriving. To me, Fall is as much about new beginnings as January or Spring. There’s excitement in the air, anticipation. I love it!
That being said, Summer was an interesting time for me this year. I gave birth to my second son, Zane. Nothing like a having baby around to get you thinking about new beginnings. While I am awake at 4 o’clock in the morning, I’m not always thinking happy new beginning thoughts, but when my sleep deprived fog clears at times, I think about new life and the future.
I didn’t have a terribly easy pregnancy, not as bad as many, but it was tough. I was sick pretty much from start to finish and I feel like I let things slide during that time. Jude watched a lot of “Baby Einstein”. That’s another reason I’m looking forward to this Fall season, it’s a chance to get back on track and to blaze new trails.
I’ve been thinking about the kind of people I hope my boys grow up to be. I’ve been thinking about the kind of memories that I hope they have when they are my age. While I don’t think that we can orchestrate every aspect of our lives, nor can we manufacture memories, we can set the stage, we can make space to create life, rather than just having life happen to us.
For me that has meant creating a schedule of sorts for our family. Setting aside time to exercise together, to be creative, to play, as well as the not so fun, but just as necessary things like chores. It’s too easy for me to just drift and not take the time to enjoy what life together means. I get caught up in tv, making sure we watch our Netflix dvds, and just “coping”. I want to be more deliberate in my life.
So that’s what’s been on my mind lately. I’m looking forward to this new season - both naturally and metaphorically. How about you? Are you excited about what’s ahead? Have you made time and space in your life to explore, to create, to experience? If life is happening too fast, how can you and your family put the brakes on a little and slow down?
Let me know your creative ideas for carving out time with family and what you do with that time. I’m always open to new ideas!
Catching up
I've gotten behind on adding my MOPS newsletter articles to my blog. So here's a catch up as well as some new stuff.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Making Memories
I love to talk about memories. I often wonder if I really remember events from my childhood, or if we’ve just talked about them so much that I am remembering the tale and not the original happening. Of course, I don’t really care, I still have the memory.
When I look back on my childhood, it was good. As an adult, I hear about some of the circumstances that our family faced, and while I had some knowledge of those circumstances as a child, I didn’t always know how dire things were at times.
When I look back, I don’t remember the financial struggles for the most part. I remember the rides around town with Mom and Dad in the front of the truck, Stephanie, me and Bo the Wonder Dog in the back of the truck with a Big Gulp for the front and one for the back. I remember eating entire meals out of the garden, thinking it was adventurous, not realizing it was because money was short. We didn’t go on vacations to resorts and theme parks, but we did go camping and went on missions trips. I remember hours spent in the yard on amazing adventures to fantastic places, riding my horse (a saw horse with saddle and reins).
Now I look around at all that I have to offer to my sons and I hope that I don’t give them so much that their only memories consist of toys and ready made activities. I hope we can create memories together in every circumstance and stage of life that will continue to give them joy when they are my age. I hope that I can give them enough freedom from “stuff” that they can create their own adventures.
I don’t think it’s wrong to give your children good things or to go on trips and I know that I want to always be able to provide for them. But whatever circumstances we are facing - whether we have little or plenty, I want to make lifelong memories for my children that they will treasure.
Have you told your own children stories about your childhood? Have you told them your treasured memories? I think it’s a good thing to tell those stories often so that we will remember them and they won’t be lost. Write them down, record them, celebrate them. Thank those that helped you to make those memories.
Some of you don’t have many good memories from your childhood. How can you make sure that your kids do?
Summer is upon us soon (hopefully). Take time this summer to create memories with your children. Establish some fun traditions. Do something that you loved to do as a child and introduce your child to something new. Tell your stories to friends and family. Read a favorite book from your childhood. Relax. Help your children find ways to explore their world and venture into the worlds of their imaginations.
Remember.
When I look back on my childhood, it was good. As an adult, I hear about some of the circumstances that our family faced, and while I had some knowledge of those circumstances as a child, I didn’t always know how dire things were at times.
When I look back, I don’t remember the financial struggles for the most part. I remember the rides around town with Mom and Dad in the front of the truck, Stephanie, me and Bo the Wonder Dog in the back of the truck with a Big Gulp for the front and one for the back. I remember eating entire meals out of the garden, thinking it was adventurous, not realizing it was because money was short. We didn’t go on vacations to resorts and theme parks, but we did go camping and went on missions trips. I remember hours spent in the yard on amazing adventures to fantastic places, riding my horse (a saw horse with saddle and reins).
Now I look around at all that I have to offer to my sons and I hope that I don’t give them so much that their only memories consist of toys and ready made activities. I hope we can create memories together in every circumstance and stage of life that will continue to give them joy when they are my age. I hope that I can give them enough freedom from “stuff” that they can create their own adventures.
I don’t think it’s wrong to give your children good things or to go on trips and I know that I want to always be able to provide for them. But whatever circumstances we are facing - whether we have little or plenty, I want to make lifelong memories for my children that they will treasure.
Have you told your own children stories about your childhood? Have you told them your treasured memories? I think it’s a good thing to tell those stories often so that we will remember them and they won’t be lost. Write them down, record them, celebrate them. Thank those that helped you to make those memories.
Some of you don’t have many good memories from your childhood. How can you make sure that your kids do?
Summer is upon us soon (hopefully). Take time this summer to create memories with your children. Establish some fun traditions. Do something that you loved to do as a child and introduce your child to something new. Tell your stories to friends and family. Read a favorite book from your childhood. Relax. Help your children find ways to explore their world and venture into the worlds of their imaginations.
Remember.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Am I Thankful? - March 2009
Life is tough. It’s always a mix of highs and lows and plateaus, but for many, right now, life is just tough. There are the reasons that life is tough. Some people just bring it on themselves, we know these people. For others, circumstances, timing, and the world itself seem to have conspired against them in a storm of pain and uncertainty.
Right now, the economy is wrecking havoc on many of those around us and even on our own families. I look at many of my friends and family and see the fear and uncertainty that they are facing right now and my heart breaks for them.
At the same time, I see many of these same people reach out in need and I see relationships grow deeper and stronger. I see people lean on God with renewed faith. I see other people giving out of their own need to those who are in deeper need. I see proud people humbled in a good way. I hope that I see generosity in me and my family.
I also want to remember that right now, even in tough financial times, I am blessed beyond belief. March 11 is Global Food Crisis Day. As I write this, I’ve just fed my son a warm meal (and thrown some of the leftovers away), he’s asleep in his own warm bed and I have no fear that I won’t be able to feed him for as long as he needs to be fed by me. At the same time, around the world and in our own community, mothers are weeping because they can’t provide basic needs for their children.
This economic crisis has certainly been a social-leveling in many ways. People who thought they had no financial worries are suddenly facing serious thoughts about providing for themselves and their families.
I am a pessimist and a worrier by nature, and yet I am also a woman of faith - I’ve seen God provide for me and my family in many seemingly hopeless situations.
Yet, it’s so easy to fall into an attitude of complacency and entitlement. I lose my ability to have some of my “wants” met and suddenly life is not fair and God is mean. I look around my home filled with “stuff”. Some of it is great and worthwhile, some of it is just fluff. I’ve got books to read to my son, he’s got so many toys to play with, I’m connected to the world in so many ways and still I crave what someone else has or something sold to me by media moguls that will change my life and I’ll look younger, be thinner, richer and of course, happier.
I don’t want to get all preachy on you. If I do, know that I’m preaching to myself too. I’m sitting here, feeling my second son wiggle around in my belly and I wonder what challenges he and his brother will face because of my generation’s greed. Will he grow up thankful or will he always be wanting more and more and more, even as he struggles to pay for previous generation’s mistakes.
I’ve been thinking about preparing for this new little fellow that’s joining us here in the real world in a few months. I want to whine and complain that our house is too small, but what I really need to do is look at all my junk and think about what I can get rid of to make space for the life that is coming. I want to give my kids lots of good things, fun things, but I also want to teach them to appreciate all that they have. Looking back on my life, growing up, we went through some terrifically tough financial times as a family, but I don’t remember those facts with any emotion. What I do remember of those times is fun and joy and love and peace - even if we couldn’t afford for me to have Moon Boots!
No matter what you’re facing right now, and I know some of you are in desperate times, remember to be thankful. Your children don’t need the latest and greatest everything to be happy, they need you, they need fun family times. They need faith in a God who is bigger than every circumstance.
For a while, I had a blog that was nothing more than writing something that I was thankful for everyday. I let that go, maybe it’s time to take it up again. I want to remember everyday all that I have to be grateful for.
Today I’m thankful for you, for a group of women who come together to support and encourage each other. Thanks!
Right now, the economy is wrecking havoc on many of those around us and even on our own families. I look at many of my friends and family and see the fear and uncertainty that they are facing right now and my heart breaks for them.
At the same time, I see many of these same people reach out in need and I see relationships grow deeper and stronger. I see people lean on God with renewed faith. I see other people giving out of their own need to those who are in deeper need. I see proud people humbled in a good way. I hope that I see generosity in me and my family.
I also want to remember that right now, even in tough financial times, I am blessed beyond belief. March 11 is Global Food Crisis Day. As I write this, I’ve just fed my son a warm meal (and thrown some of the leftovers away), he’s asleep in his own warm bed and I have no fear that I won’t be able to feed him for as long as he needs to be fed by me. At the same time, around the world and in our own community, mothers are weeping because they can’t provide basic needs for their children.
This economic crisis has certainly been a social-leveling in many ways. People who thought they had no financial worries are suddenly facing serious thoughts about providing for themselves and their families.
I am a pessimist and a worrier by nature, and yet I am also a woman of faith - I’ve seen God provide for me and my family in many seemingly hopeless situations.
Yet, it’s so easy to fall into an attitude of complacency and entitlement. I lose my ability to have some of my “wants” met and suddenly life is not fair and God is mean. I look around my home filled with “stuff”. Some of it is great and worthwhile, some of it is just fluff. I’ve got books to read to my son, he’s got so many toys to play with, I’m connected to the world in so many ways and still I crave what someone else has or something sold to me by media moguls that will change my life and I’ll look younger, be thinner, richer and of course, happier.
I don’t want to get all preachy on you. If I do, know that I’m preaching to myself too. I’m sitting here, feeling my second son wiggle around in my belly and I wonder what challenges he and his brother will face because of my generation’s greed. Will he grow up thankful or will he always be wanting more and more and more, even as he struggles to pay for previous generation’s mistakes.
I’ve been thinking about preparing for this new little fellow that’s joining us here in the real world in a few months. I want to whine and complain that our house is too small, but what I really need to do is look at all my junk and think about what I can get rid of to make space for the life that is coming. I want to give my kids lots of good things, fun things, but I also want to teach them to appreciate all that they have. Looking back on my life, growing up, we went through some terrifically tough financial times as a family, but I don’t remember those facts with any emotion. What I do remember of those times is fun and joy and love and peace - even if we couldn’t afford for me to have Moon Boots!
No matter what you’re facing right now, and I know some of you are in desperate times, remember to be thankful. Your children don’t need the latest and greatest everything to be happy, they need you, they need fun family times. They need faith in a God who is bigger than every circumstance.
For a while, I had a blog that was nothing more than writing something that I was thankful for everyday. I let that go, maybe it’s time to take it up again. I want to remember everyday all that I have to be grateful for.
Today I’m thankful for you, for a group of women who come together to support and encourage each other. Thanks!
Valentine's Day Article - February 2009
In just over a month, I will have been married for ten years. How is that even possible? Time flies sometimes, at other times it crawls. I love being married. I love my husband. I’m glad we found each other half way around the world from our own countries. We’ve been through a lot together. Less than some, truth be told, but it’s all relative.
Colin and I are best friends. We know each other so well - we have our own language, we have a shared history of experiences, jokes, music and ministry. Sometimes I think we know each other too well. We are so incredibly comfortable with each other. We definitely have to work at the whole “spark” thing. We can get caught up in the day to day stuff - jobs, kids, house and lose sight of each other, the reasons we got into this together.
I had some pretty high expectations when I got married, so did Colin. We’ve exceeded some of those expectations and we’ve also disappointed each other. It’s not always been a smooth road, there have been fights, tears, ultimatums and cruel words said in anger.
But you know what, we’re still together and we’re going to stay together. Some things have been non-negotiables. We are completely committed to each other - we’re in this for the long haul. My parents always said that if you’re going to stay with someone, why be miserable - be nice to each other and work at it.
We are also determined to communicate with each other. This isn’t always easy - Colin does his best communicating when we’ve gone to bed, I do my best sleeping when we’ve gone to bed! So there have been long nights, but we’ve always said what’s on our minds and hearts eventually and it’s always good - our relationship always deepens when we’ve talked through an “issue”.
Now, I don’t want you to think that it’s all drama and “working through the issues”. We love each other deeply and ”shallowly” (if you know what I mean). I’m thrilled that I get to share my life with this amazing, smart, talented, fun man. He’s an amazing Dad to my son - that’s thrilled me so much.
I’m looking forward to the excuse that Valentine’s Day gives me to tell him all these things that I’ve already shared with you. Not with expensive gifts, but with the words of my heart.
How are you going to show your appreciation to those you love on Valentine's Day?
Colin and I are best friends. We know each other so well - we have our own language, we have a shared history of experiences, jokes, music and ministry. Sometimes I think we know each other too well. We are so incredibly comfortable with each other. We definitely have to work at the whole “spark” thing. We can get caught up in the day to day stuff - jobs, kids, house and lose sight of each other, the reasons we got into this together.
I had some pretty high expectations when I got married, so did Colin. We’ve exceeded some of those expectations and we’ve also disappointed each other. It’s not always been a smooth road, there have been fights, tears, ultimatums and cruel words said in anger.
But you know what, we’re still together and we’re going to stay together. Some things have been non-negotiables. We are completely committed to each other - we’re in this for the long haul. My parents always said that if you’re going to stay with someone, why be miserable - be nice to each other and work at it.
We are also determined to communicate with each other. This isn’t always easy - Colin does his best communicating when we’ve gone to bed, I do my best sleeping when we’ve gone to bed! So there have been long nights, but we’ve always said what’s on our minds and hearts eventually and it’s always good - our relationship always deepens when we’ve talked through an “issue”.
Now, I don’t want you to think that it’s all drama and “working through the issues”. We love each other deeply and ”shallowly” (if you know what I mean). I’m thrilled that I get to share my life with this amazing, smart, talented, fun man. He’s an amazing Dad to my son - that’s thrilled me so much.
I’m looking forward to the excuse that Valentine’s Day gives me to tell him all these things that I’ve already shared with you. Not with expensive gifts, but with the words of my heart.
How are you going to show your appreciation to those you love on Valentine's Day?
Catching Up
I have several articles that I've written for the Westside MOPS newsletter and I thought I would post them as entries here on my blog.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Outline of Jude
My friend Teri, who is my parent's assistant, was retyping some Bible book outlines and came across the book of Jude. She was feeling inspired and rewrote the outline to go along with our Jude. I love it!
Jude
1. Titles
Jude the Dude
Jud-ee
Hey Jude
2. Author
A. God
B. Colin and Melissa
3. Date
A. He’s not allowed to, yet
4. Key Words
A. Nama (Grandma)
B. Papa (Grandpa)
C. Deddie (Jesse)
D. Elephant imitations
5. Key Verse
A. “Give me this day…” whatever I want whenever I want it
B. Jesus loves me
6. Purpose
A. Eat, sleep, play – in any order I feel like
B. Learn by pushing the limits, but smile as I do it
C. Bring joy to my family
7. Message
A. I love Jesus
B. I love my family
C. I love anyone who will be nice to me, especially if they have candy
8. Outline
A. About two feet tall with all extremities
B. Huge cuteness quota
9. Summary
1. Titles
Jude the Dude
Jud-ee
Hey Jude
2. Author
A. God
B. Colin and Melissa
3. Date
A. He’s not allowed to, yet
4. Key Words
A. Nama (Grandma)
B. Papa (Grandpa)
C. Deddie (Jesse)
D. Elephant imitations
5. Key Verse
A. “Give me this day…” whatever I want whenever I want it
B. Jesus loves me
6. Purpose
A. Eat, sleep, play – in any order I feel like
B. Learn by pushing the limits, but smile as I do it
C. Bring joy to my family
7. Message
A. I love Jesus
B. I love my family
C. I love anyone who will be nice to me, especially if they have candy
8. Outline
A. About two feet tall with all extremities
B. Huge cuteness quota
9. Summary
A. So far, so good. Can’t wait for my new baby.
10. Pictures of Christ
A. They mostly look like scribbles, but it’s definitely Jesus, unless I’m drawing squirrels or cats.
10. Pictures of Christ
A. They mostly look like scribbles, but it’s definitely Jesus, unless I’m drawing squirrels or cats.
Love it, love it, love it!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Pondering
I know that we say every year that the beast that is retail starts us towards the Christmas season earlier and earlier. This year, though, it seems like I really noticed it. I was so excited about Christmas early this year. However, it seems like it's seeped away a bit. We've had a lot going on with our family so I suppose that might explain it. It was bad enough that I almost decided not to put my tree up or decorate - that's extreme. However, I did it anyway and I'm so glad.
Now I'm trying to get back into the spirit of things. I'm getting there. I think it would help if it snowed!
Anyway, I've got lots on my mind - thoughts swirling and whirling - I want to write more, but don't feel able to at the moment. So strange.
Hopefully I'll write more soon.
14 Days till Christmas!
Now I'm trying to get back into the spirit of things. I'm getting there. I think it would help if it snowed!
Anyway, I've got lots on my mind - thoughts swirling and whirling - I want to write more, but don't feel able to at the moment. So strange.
Hopefully I'll write more soon.
14 Days till Christmas!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Walk and Talk
Well, so many Facebook friends have been doing this that I had to give it a try. It was way fun and I highly recommend it. I particularly like Question #24.
1. Set your Ipod on Shuffle
2. As you read each question advance your ipod and fill in the song title to the answer
1. If someone says to you, " Is this okay"
a. Tomorrow
2. What would best describe your personality?
a. Some Might Say
3. What do you like in a boy
a. London
4. How do you feel today?
a. Only One
5. What is your Life Purpose?
a. Erosion
6. What is your motto?
a. I Want to Hold Your Hand
7. What do your friends think of you?
a. Other Emcees
8. What do you think about quite often?
a. Digging for Gold
9. What is 2+2?
a. I Wait for the Lord
10. What do you think of your best friend?
a. Pioneer
11. What do you think of the person you like?
a. Twisted
12. What is your life story?
a. I Can’t Wait to get to Heaven
13. What do you want to be when you grow up?
a. Infidel
14. What do you think when you see the person you like?
a. To Tell Them
15. What do your parents think of you?
a. Send and Transmit
16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
a. Blue Eyes
17. What will you play at your funeral?
a. Down Under
18.What is your hobby/interest?
a. The Economy of Mercy
19. What is your biggest secret?
a. Jesus, I Lift My Eyes
20. What do you think of your friends?
a. Friend of God
21. What is the worst thing that could happen?
a. Ride the Dragon
22.How will you Die?
a. Now and Forever
23. What is the one thing you regret?
a. Blind
24. What makes you laugh?
a. The Way I Was Made
25.What makes you cry?
a. The Saddest Song I’ve Got
26. Will you ever get married?
a. Fields of Gold
27.What scares you the most?
a. Green Onions
28. Does anyone like you?
a. Devil in the Wishing Well
29. If you could go back in time, what would you change?
a. Where Do I Go From Here?
30. What hurts right now?
a. The Best Thing
31. What will you post this as?
a. Walk and Talk
Like I said I do like London boys!
Ever Wondered What Your Elvish Name Is?
Me neither. But then I came across a site that told me and it made me happy so I thought I would share.
If you are a boy, check it here Elvish Boys
If you are a girl, check it here Elvish Girls
So here's mine:
Nieriel or Nioniel (Nee-air-ee-ell; Nee-onn-ee-ell)
And Colin's:
Sellion (Sell-ee-on)
And Jude's:
Eglerion (Eh-glare-ee-on)
That's my tidbit for the day...
Sincerely,
Nieriel
If you are a boy, check it here Elvish Boys
If you are a girl, check it here Elvish Girls
So here's mine:
Nieriel or Nioniel (Nee-air-ee-ell; Nee-onn-ee-ell)
And Colin's:
Sellion (Sell-ee-on)
And Jude's:
Eglerion (Eh-glare-ee-on)
That's my tidbit for the day...
Sincerely,
Nieriel
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
OK, I love this song.
Colin doesn't like it too much, but Jude and I love it. Steve Songs has a great cd called Marvelous. I highly recommend it. Hmmm, have my musical tastes changed a bit? Or just broadened?
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