Follow the Leader

So lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what my boys will be like as teenagers. Yep, I like to worry about things at least a decade in the future. Though it’s many years away, it’s still on my mind. I was quite a moody and emotional teenager and had my moments of rebellion, but I never lost respect for my parents. I really want my kids to like me when they are teenagers. Is that too much to ask? The world is a different place nowadays, but I see families around me and know that it is possible. I also know that what’s happening right now in their lives will directly affect who they are in ten or twelve years.

I read a great parenting tip on Facebook recently, posted by a friend from high school. It talked about the importance of not only showing love and affection to your child, but also the importance of your child seeing you show love and affection towards others. Whether it’s your spouse, your own parents or the people you meet in stores and on the road, your child will see and do like you. It’s often easy to be loving toward your child, but what about the people in the store who might be frustrating you with their slowness – are you polite, kind and helpful? Are you respectful towards the elderly, gleaning from their wisdom, asking their advice? Do you want your child to seek your counsel when you are older?

This idea got me thinking about so many things. How do I respond to the sick, the weak, the less fortunate? How do I respond when I’m driving and someone makes a mistake? (Ouch!) What things am I doing that I really don’t want my child to do? If I want my child to love music, do I listen to lots of music or is the tv always on? Do I want my child to have a healthy lifestyle and yet they never see me enjoying exercise or eating right?

I’m not saying that you have to be perfect, in fact, I want my children to learn humility, integrity and honesty so it’s helpful for them to see me make mistakes, apologize and make amends. I want them to see me struggle with my issues and overcome them.

I also got to thinking about how focused I can be on my children, on their needs and what they want to do. I think it’s important that they see me have dreams of my own and take the time and energy to pursue those dreams.

We’re the strongest role model our kids will ever have. This is both exciting and terrifying to me. What an honor, what a responsibility. My oldest boy is three and a half and I’ve made so many mistakes already and yet we have our whole lives ahead and there is time to grow and get better. It’s truly humbling to have to say you’re sorry to a three year old, but it’s good for my soul. I haven’t made my last mistake by a long shot, but I hope next time I’ll be quicker to apologize and that I learn to do better and not make the same mistakes repeatedly!

Truly my children teach me more each day than I ever could have imagined.