Making Memories

I love to talk about memories. I often wonder if I really remember events from my childhood, or if we’ve just talked about them so much that I am remembering the tale and not the original happening. Of course, I don’t really care, I still have the memory.

When I look back on my childhood, it was good. As an adult, I hear about some of the circumstances that our family faced, and while I had some knowledge of those circumstances as a child, I didn’t always know how dire things were at times.

When I look back, I don’t remember the financial struggles for the most part. I remember the rides around town with Mom and Dad in the front of the truck, Stephanie, me and Bo the Wonder Dog in the back of the truck with a Big Gulp for the front and one for the back. I remember eating entire meals out of the garden, thinking it was adventurous, not realizing it was because money was short. We didn’t go on vacations to resorts and theme parks, but we did go camping and went on missions trips. I remember hours spent in the yard on amazing adventures to fantastic places, riding my horse (a saw horse with saddle and reins).

Now I look around at all that I have to offer to my sons and I hope that I don’t give them so much that their only memories consist of toys and ready made activities. I hope we can create memories together in every circumstance and stage of life that will continue to give them joy when they are my age. I hope that I can give them enough freedom from “stuff” that they can create their own adventures.

I don’t think it’s wrong to give your children good things or to go on trips and I know that I want to always be able to provide for them. But whatever circumstances we are facing - whether we have little or plenty, I want to make lifelong memories for my children that they will treasure.

Have you told your own children stories about your childhood? Have you told them your treasured memories? I think it’s a good thing to tell those stories often so that we will remember them and they won’t be lost. Write them down, record them, celebrate them. Thank those that helped you to make those memories.

Some of you don’t have many good memories from your childhood. How can you make sure that your kids do?

Summer is upon us soon (hopefully). Take time this summer to create memories with your children. Establish some fun traditions. Do something that you loved to do as a child and introduce your child to something new. Tell your stories to friends and family. Read a favorite book from your childhood. Relax. Help your children find ways to explore their world and venture into the worlds of their imaginations.

Remember.

Am I Thankful? - March 2009

Life is tough. It’s always a mix of highs and lows and plateaus, but for many, right now, life is just tough. There are the reasons that life is tough. Some people just bring it on themselves, we know these people. For others, circumstances, timing, and the world itself seem to have conspired against them in a storm of pain and uncertainty.

Right now, the economy is wrecking havoc on many of those around us and even on our own families. I look at many of my friends and family and see the fear and uncertainty that they are facing right now and my heart breaks for them.

At the same time, I see many of these same people reach out in need and I see relationships grow deeper and stronger. I see people lean on God with renewed faith. I see other people giving out of their own need to those who are in deeper need. I see proud people humbled in a good way. I hope that I see generosity in me and my family.

I also want to remember that right now, even in tough financial times, I am blessed beyond belief. March 11 is Global Food Crisis Day. As I write this, I’ve just fed my son a warm meal (and thrown some of the leftovers away), he’s asleep in his own warm bed and I have no fear that I won’t be able to feed him for as long as he needs to be fed by me. At the same time, around the world and in our own community, mothers are weeping because they can’t provide basic needs for their children.
This economic crisis has certainly been a social-leveling in many ways. People who thought they had no financial worries are suddenly facing serious thoughts about providing for themselves and their families.

I am a pessimist and a worrier by nature, and yet I am also a woman of faith - I’ve seen God provide for me and my family in many seemingly hopeless situations.

Yet, it’s so easy to fall into an attitude of complacency and entitlement. I lose my ability to have some of my “wants” met and suddenly life is not fair and God is mean. I look around my home filled with “stuff”. Some of it is great and worthwhile, some of it is just fluff. I’ve got books to read to my son, he’s got so many toys to play with, I’m connected to the world in so many ways and still I crave what someone else has or something sold to me by media moguls that will change my life and I’ll look younger, be thinner, richer and of course, happier.

I don’t want to get all preachy on you. If I do, know that I’m preaching to myself too. I’m sitting here, feeling my second son wiggle around in my belly and I wonder what challenges he and his brother will face because of my generation’s greed. Will he grow up thankful or will he always be wanting more and more and more, even as he struggles to pay for previous generation’s mistakes.

I’ve been thinking about preparing for this new little fellow that’s joining us here in the real world in a few months. I want to whine and complain that our house is too small, but what I really need to do is look at all my junk and think about what I can get rid of to make space for the life that is coming. I want to give my kids lots of good things, fun things, but I also want to teach them to appreciate all that they have. Looking back on my life, growing up, we went through some terrifically tough financial times as a family, but I don’t remember those facts with any emotion. What I do remember of those times is fun and joy and love and peace - even if we couldn’t afford for me to have Moon Boots!

No matter what you’re facing right now, and I know some of you are in desperate times, remember to be thankful. Your children don’t need the latest and greatest everything to be happy, they need you, they need fun family times. They need faith in a God who is bigger than every circumstance.

For a while, I had a blog that was nothing more than writing something that I was thankful for everyday. I let that go, maybe it’s time to take it up again. I want to remember everyday all that I have to be grateful for.

Today I’m thankful for you, for a group of women who come together to support and encourage each other. Thanks!

Valentine's Day Article - February 2009

In just over a month, I will have been married for ten years. How is that even possible? Time flies sometimes, at other times it crawls. I love being married. I love my husband. I’m glad we found each other half way around the world from our own countries. We’ve been through a lot together. Less than some, truth be told, but it’s all relative.

Colin and I are best friends. We know each other so well - we have our own language, we have a shared history of experiences, jokes, music and ministry. Sometimes I think we know each other too well. We are so incredibly comfortable with each other. We definitely have to work at the whole “spark” thing. We can get caught up in the day to day stuff - jobs, kids, house and lose sight of each other, the reasons we got into this together.

I had some pretty high expectations when I got married, so did Colin. We’ve exceeded some of those expectations and we’ve also disappointed each other. It’s not always been a smooth road, there have been fights, tears, ultimatums and cruel words said in anger.

But you know what, we’re still together and we’re going to stay together. Some things have been non-negotiables. We are completely committed to each other - we’re in this for the long haul. My parents always said that if you’re going to stay with someone, why be miserable - be nice to each other and work at it.

We are also determined to communicate with each other. This isn’t always easy - Colin does his best communicating when we’ve gone to bed, I do my best sleeping when we’ve gone to bed! So there have been long nights, but we’ve always said what’s on our minds and hearts eventually and it’s always good - our relationship always deepens when we’ve talked through an “issue”.

Now, I don’t want you to think that it’s all drama and “working through the issues”. We love each other deeply and ”shallowly” (if you know what I mean). I’m thrilled that I get to share my life with this amazing, smart, talented, fun man. He’s an amazing Dad to my son - that’s thrilled me so much.

I’m looking forward to the excuse that Valentine’s Day gives me to tell him all these things that I’ve already shared with you. Not with expensive gifts, but with the words of my heart.

How are you going to show your appreciation to those you love on Valentine's Day?

Catching Up

I have several articles that I've written for the Westside MOPS newsletter and I thought I would post them as entries here on my blog.

Outline of Jude

My friend Teri, who is my parent's assistant, was retyping some Bible book outlines and came across the book of Jude. She was feeling inspired and rewrote the outline to go along with our Jude. I love it!

Jude


1. Titles

Jude the Dude
Jud-ee
Hey Jude

2. Author

A. God
B. Colin and Melissa

3. Date

A. He’s not allowed to, yet

4. Key Words

A. Nama (Grandma)
B. Papa (Grandpa)
C. Deddie (Jesse)
D. Elephant imitations

5. Key Verse

A. “Give me this day…” whatever I want whenever I want it
B. Jesus loves me

6. Purpose

A. Eat, sleep, play – in any order I feel like
B. Learn by pushing the limits, but smile as I do it
C. Bring joy to my family

7. Message

A. I love Jesus
B. I love my family
C. I love anyone who will be nice to me, especially if they have candy

8. Outline

A. About two feet tall with all extremities
B. Huge cuteness quota

9. Summary

A. So far, so good. Can’t wait for my new baby.

10. Pictures of Christ

A. They mostly look like scribbles, but it’s definitely Jesus, unless I’m drawing squirrels or cats.

Love it, love it, love it!