Jim Stephens' Blog: Trust and Obey

Jim Stephens' Blog: Trust and Obey

Finding the Me in Mothering

This is an article I wrote for our most recent MOPS Newsletter...

Hi, my name is Melissa, I’m Jude’s Mom, oh and I used to be so much more!

When I got married, the plan was that we weren’t going to have children. I was happy with that decision for years, 7 years in fact. We changed our minds and Jude was born a couple months after our 8 year anniversary.

In the time “pre-Jude” we did a lot. We lived in 3 different countries, travelled quite a lot, did some missions work and then we settled down here in Oregon, and I embarked on a career in the church. I had an amazing time, I was daily challenged, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, creatively and as a leader. I had quite a bit of responsibility and I loved it, though at times it was exhausting. When I got pregnant, my initial thought was that I would return to work. I took six weeks off after Jude was born and then went back to work (way too soon!). By twelve weeks I had resigned, jumped off the career path, let go of my work responsibilities and took on a whole new and unexpected role.

I love being a Mom, I never knew I would love it so much. It challenges me daily, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, creatively and as a leader. However, some days, it just feels like monotony, eat, sleep, change dirty diapers, worry about Jude, play games with Jude, sing silly songs to Jude. Gone is the daily interaction with other adults, brainstorming ideas, making things happen. Many days it’s just me and Jude. It’s taken me a while to realize that I’m still the same person I was before I became Jude’s mom. I’m learning to express my creativity in different ways and to understand that my role as a leader has never been more important.

There are days when I still get a bit nostalgic for the “good old days”, when I long for an adult-sized challenge or a conversation about anything besides kids, but more and more I am realizing that I am right where I am supposed to be, doing what I love. And if I happen to meet you for the first time, I’ll say, “Hi, my name is Melissa, I’m Jude’s Mom.

Words Fail Me

Thanks to Randall for alerting us to the presence of this fine piece of art...

8 Hours a Night?!?!

We all know that as parents, you enter a new season of life (I have no idea how long it lasts) where you get less sleep than the average person. The first few months were rough - we were enjoying being parents, but we were beyond exhausted. It was like that feeling when you've been travelling for a long time in a single journey, you've had 3 flights already and you're in the airport waiting for your last flight with a 2 hour lay over. That got better though and we got into more of a routine and eventually Jude was sleeping through the night more than he was not. There were still occasional nights when he would wake up, but it wasn't too bad.

The last couple of weeks, Jude has been waking up 2-5 times a night. He's not really crying, just whimpering and whining. Sometimes it last 10 minutes, sometimes an hour. Sometimes it escalates to full on crying which means going in to comfort him back to sleep, never knowing if he'll stay asleep for the rest of the night or if he's just getting some rest for his next act.

I'm realising how important sleep is. Good, uninterrupted, deep sleep. During the day I am worn out, I am not feeling inspired or creative. I have lots to do and I get most of it (ok, some of it) done, but there sure ain't no spring in my step. We long for the night and yet dread going to sleep, wondering how long till we are awoken.

I know we don't have it too bad, we just got used to things the way they were. It's a bit stressful too, hoping that he's ok, that we are doing the right things.

All that to say, treasure your sleep, get it when you can, rejoice in the energy and strength it brings. Pray for Jude that he'll start sleeping through the night again!