Snowy Day

So this was the view from Jude's room this morning... Hard to believe that more snow fell overnight and is still falling.

More shovelling, of course, but I don't mind too much - I find it fairly relaxing.

Jude got his first tooth a couple of weeks ago, it took a while to come in, but I truly didn't mind! It took ages to get a photo of it, but I final succeeded.

It's a bit blurry but it's there. What else has Jude been up to? He loves climbing stairs now. I was distracted for about 30 seconds the other day and when I looked up, he was nowhere to be seen or heard. So I jumped up in search of him and found him up 5 stairs already. Sigh...he's a rascal. He's also exploring more culinary delights. He discovered Cheerios and there was no going back! He also feeds himself bananas and has sampled salsa, Chinese soups, sweet and sour sauce, fortune cookies and (don't tell anyone) he's even sampled a couple of potato chips - he just sucked the salt off and spit the rest out! Oh and my favourite thing that he's doing lately is saying "Ma Ma" all the time. I'm convinced he knows what it means since he often says it when he sees me or wants me. He is after all an exceptional child.

So St Charles has this amazing wooden mural in the main lobbey of the hospital and I admire it whenever I am there (which, as I mentioned yesterday, is entirely too often lately). It's beautiful, but the thing that I always am drawn to is the motto that is engraved on it.

I think it is so cool. I also think that it should be our motto as Christians and as the Church. "The only excuse for our presence in your midst is service - service to our neighbour and through him to our God" Wow. Not much more to be said about that.

St Charles

So here we are in the St Charles waiting room yet again. This is a strange thing for our family - we've never been a family who visits doctors often nor have we spent much time in hospitals. That changed a bit about a year ago. My Mom went into the hospital in January of 2007 with some chest pain - spent over a week, underwent numerous tests and they found nothing and discharged her. Then in the weeks leading up to Jude's birth in April, I was in the hospital a couple times a week for Jude monitoring and then of course the 60 hours of labour and 6 days in the hospital when he was born. When Jude was almost 10 weeks old, Colin had his appendix removed for the first time and spent a couple of days in the hospital. Less than a week later he was back with massive infection, had to have the rest of his appendix (they forgot some) removed and spent over a week in the hospital. Now, here we are again. Mom is having her gall bladder removed - she met with the surgeon yesterday and they decided to get that sucker out of there. Hopefully it will bring relief - it's been causing her trouble for almost 25 years!

Anyway, it's just strange to have spent so much time in the hospital when, for years, we have kept our distance. It's interesting watching people, all of us waiting for news of those we love. Praying for guidance for the doctors, watching each other, passing the time, eating in the cafeteria (which is actually quite nice here) and watching the door for the doctor or the nurse, someone who will let us know that the surgery is done, or that we'll get to leave soon, or that more tests are needed. I have serious issues with worry as well which doesn't help, but that's a subject for another day.

Speaking of which, the surgeon just came out and said that all is well - everything went as it should and Mom is in recovery. Sweet relief. Now we wait for a while longer in this next phase.

On a side note, Jude is such a trooper - he was so good when his Dad was here and now he's being awesome for Grandma too. Apart from not wanting to take a nap - but that's par for the course.

Look at me...

I was reading today in Exodus about when God called Moses to speak to Pharaoh for His people...
"And Moses answered, "Look at me. I stutter. Why would Pharaoh listen to me?" God told Moses, "Look at me."
I spend entirely too much time "looking" at myself and being disappointed by what I see and what I don't see. I don't spend nearly enough time looking at God in whom there is no deficiency, no lack - only strength and grace and wholeness. I don't want to waste time on regrets and fear and self-degradation. I want to look at my Source and do what He asks me to do with the strength He gives me.

Jude 8 months plus, Melissa too

Piano Virtuoso

So the young man is changing all the time as usual. It's truly an amazing process to see this little human, who is like a blank canvas, learn and grow everyday. Starting from nothing, he is learning to communicate, to move, to change the world around him. He's also learning (I hope) about boundaries and risks and danger. He's very mobile and at this point, he's already climbed out of his crib at Grandma's and took a dive to the floor, he's jumped off of our bed and met the floor. It's like he has no fear at this point - it's frightening and amazing and I hope he doesn't lose his sense of adventure, but I do hope he learns quickly about gravity.

As for his Mom, I am thinking a lot these days about being a parent. It's an incredible responsibility and one that I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to undertake. At the same time, it's all so new and overwhelming. It's a huge change for me. I've always worked, been quite independent and I am used to setting my own schedule. So there is adjustment for me as I take into account this other human who has no regard for me and my desire for structure and schedules - I don't begrudge this change, but it is difficult nonetheless. I am trying to understand my new role and how to maintain my identity as Melissa as well as Jude's Mom.

Jude and His Mom - Cross Country Skiing

So I'm working it out - it's taking longer than I thought it would, but it's good. I'm enjoying the ride and I am loving Jude and the life that he's brought to our lives.