Jude, more than six months on...

I continue to be blown away by Jude and amazed that I am now a parent. Then I think about what it must be like for Jude and that's even more difficult to imagine. He's learning things - physically, mentally and socially at an astonishing rate. He's got to learn in a very short amount of time to communicate, to move around, to affect his surroundings, to be a socially acceptable being. And I think that I'm on a steep learning curve!

It is all happening fast though and I don't always remember to note things these days.

He's eating "solid" food and I use that term very loosely (no pun intended). He seems to be quite into his sweet peas, carrots, beans, peas, bananas, pears, peaches and applesauce. Most of it even seems to make it into his mouth.

He's very mobile these days. He scoots and rolls around the room, and can't really be left unattended for long. He has many toys, but often seems to prefer shoes, plastic bags, floor fluff and anything else besides his toys that is left lying on the floor.

He's such a happy boy - everyone seems to notice this - he has a ready smile for just about everyone. He's very ticklish too and his laugh is now one of my favourite sounds in the whole wide world.

He's still a wiggler - he seems to be constantly in motion except when he's asleep. He hasn't master standing yet mostly because he just won't be still. We call him Elvis Legs because when you stand him up, he does this whole Elvis dance thing with his hips going wild - the girls in the 50s would love it!

Just a few more thoughts about Jude.

Jude Stuff 1

Some things that about Jude...

• We are projecting on him and think that his first 2 words (at 12.5 weeks) have been "hi" and "England".
• He fights sleep real hard for such a little guy - we don't know why. He seems to enjoy sleep when he gets there but doesn't seem to like the process of going to sleep or waking up.
• I'm teaching him to stick his tongue out - an important skill for any child to have and one that I am sure I will regret later.
• He smiles and laughs and talks a lot - it's amazing to see him smile at me - a smile just for me.
• He seems to be a morning person at this stage in his life - he wakes up early and then is just so happy and interactive. He sometimes gets fussy in the evening.
• I've made up several songs for him - my 2 favourites are "cheeky, cheeky, chin, chin...nose" and "Who's the cutiest, cutie pie (or stinky pants, or baby boy, or...)... it's you!"
• Colin makes up lots of songs for him using existing melodies - we started with "Hey Jude" but have moved on to other songs.
• People think that Jude is just gorgeous - super cute. Several people have said that he's not just baby cute - you know how babies are often kind of ugly, but cute because they are babies? Well, Jude is beautiful!

Learning

I am so amazed as I watch my son begin to learn. I know he's been learning from day one, but it's becoming so much more obvious now. I see him learning about cause and effect as he plays. What an amazing idea, that God would create us to learn, He entrusts us to our families as guides. It's a huge responsibility.

We've been thinking about it as he is "talking" more. The other day he said something that had an "s" in it and it sounded so much like a word, though it was not - it caught me off guard and startled me. Then I got to thinking about what an amazing thing it is when a child, who starts from nothing, learns a language - think of it, just by observing and listening, a child learns to communicate!

Colin and I were talking about this the other day, from the moment our children are born, we are willing them to go to the next stage - to be able to focus, to be able to grasp, to be able to hold their heads up, to be able to walk, to be able to talk. There are all these developmental milestones that we are wanting them to achieve. Then there will come a time when we just want them to lie down, be quiet and quit grabbing things!

I never understood what people were talking about when they would say that they miss this phase when the baby is small - when Jude was first born, I couldn't wait until he was bigger and more independent because I felt so helpless and overwhelmed. Now I am beginning to understand - it's going by so fast and he is so amazing. There is something very special about a newborn - about the first months when he is so dependent, I'm sure that I, too, will miss that.

I am excited about him growing up as well though. What kind of person will he be? What memories will we make together as a family? What adventures will he be a part of? We pray for his everyday that he would grow to be the child, the young man and the man that God wants him to be.

Pregnant

So we waited almost 8 years to decide to have a baby. We never intended to, but somewhere along the line, we changed our minds. So by the time Jude arrives, it will be more than 8 years since we were married. I love that we waited so long, even though it means we are a bit older. Our relationship is rock solid and we've experienced so much together. Not that I feel in any way prepared for having a child!

Now about pregnancy. Nothing could have prepared me for how stressful it is. There are so many worries and I am a worrier. I thought that once I got pregnant, it would be smooth sailing. Then I thought if I can get past the first 3 months, there will be nothing to worry about. After that, I realised I will probably worry about this child for the rest of my life, inside or outside of me. Then there is the physical side fo being pregnant. It changes everything! This little alien inside of me has taken over many of my bodily functions, caused me pain, discomfort and makes me so tired! However, it's also amazing to feel him move around in there and to think that there is a little person - a whole nother human who is living inside of me and will be coming out to meet us soon. I am also probably over-educated which isn't helpful with a hypochondriac. I look things up on the internet all the time - every ache, pain or change. I have several pregnancy books as well. I hope all this has helped me to form a healthy child, but it's given me high blood pressure!

Then there is birth. I'm not ashamed to admit I am somewhat fearful about the whole process. I remind myself daily, that I was created to be able to do this and millions have women have done it down through the centuries and one way or another he will come out and we'll both be ok. He is a big baby like his Dad with a big head though! I am just praying I don't freak out totally.

Then there is the baby. So we've got some gear, we've decorated the nursery, we've bought clothes and nappies and a crib, but how do you take care of a baby? I don't think it's all intuitive, so where do you learn this stuff? I've got some books of course, but I just don't know. That's the physical side of things, what about raising a well-adjusted child who's not going to go out and become a mass murderer? There is this incredible weight of responsibility for caring for a child - body, soul and spirit. I hope we are up to it. It's easy to live a fairly selfish life when there are only the two of us to consider.

My sister and her husband just adopted a new born baby boy this week and I find myself worrying about him as well! It's an amazing thing though - they have wanted a child for as long as they have been married - 13 years. So they finally started the adoption process, but nothing was really happening and it dragged on. Then I show up pregnant and I know that was hard for them. So up to a couple of months ago, it looked like I would have a child before them. My prayer had always been for them to have a child before us. Anyway, God must have been involved because this miracle has happened and their son was born less than a week ago now.

So those are some of the thoughts that go through my mind as I contemplate the last months and think about what is in store for us in a few weeks.

Just been looking at some photos of places we've been...

Life's an adventure

Colin on Arthur's Seat, Edinburgh, Scotland on our honeymoon

Melissa on Arthur's Seat, Edinburgh, Scotland on our honeymoon

Colin on the River Seine, Paris, France

Melissa on the River Seine, Paris, France

On a friend's yacht in Auckland Harbour

In a London Phone Booth

In Bath, England

At a park in London while we were going out.

The night we got engaged - by Tower Bridge in London.

On Lake Victoria in Uganda - once you put your feet in the water of Lake Victoria - you'll always return.

At the Equator in Uganda.

On a ferry near Seattle.