I asked Jude today what was his favorite thing about gardening. His most favorite thing is watering. His second and third favorite things were raking and digging. I sort of had to remind him about the actual fruits (or, in our case, vegetables, of our labors). Then, of course, he listed the vegetables that he likes most from our garden.
It was interesting for me to hear his thoughts on gardening. I often get so focused on the end result of things, that I forget to enjoy the process. I think that’s something that we can learn from children. They are so “in the moment” and intent on the “doing” rather than what they are going to get out of. For Jude, gardening is worth it, just because he gets to go to the tap, fill up the watering can, carry it to the plant boxes and water them everyday. To me, that’s just another chore to be done so that eventually we’ll have some flowers to look at and vegetables to eat from the garden.
How many times in my life do I rush through the process trying to achieve a result and miss out on the moments that the process gives to me? Whether it’s physical exercise, preparing a meal, teaching my children or going on a journey, too often I rush through the things that I have to do in order to get the desired result as quickly as possible without realizing what a gift the journey is. Feeling my body growing strong with each step, the air moving in and out of my lungs. Seeing the textures and colors come together in a meal, smelling the aromas. Seeing Jude’s eyes light up as he learns a new concept or even when he starts goofing off and making himself giggle. Taking time to look around rather than getting somewhere as quickly as I can.
So from a simple conversation with Jude, he’s taught me that I need to slow down and enjoy the process. Sure we can celebrate the harvest of the garden, the beauty of the flowers, but we can also enjoy the rush of water into a can, the cool drops hitting our feet in the hot sun and the simple joy of pouring water into dirt. Thanks Jude!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Mommy, Look At Me
So we went to the park the other day and I sat with Zane while he napped. Jude and Colin ran around on all the play equipment. Colin was pushing Jude on the swing, going higher and faster. Jude looked at me and said, “Look at me, Mommy!”
He’s saying that a lot more lately, but in that moment, when he was swinging and he so desperately wanted me to look at what he was doing, it really hit me.
There’s a lot wrapped up in that statement from a child to a parent. When Jude asks me to look at him, at what he’s doing, he’s making a statement about my importance in his life. He wants my validation for his activities, for who he is. He also wants to make sure that I approve, that I think he’s going to be safe and ok. He wants me to join him in that moment so that we can share it together. We can remember those times together.
He also saying that he’s growing more independent and doesn't need me in the same ways that he used to. When he’s climbed to the top of a play structure by himself and stands there a bit shaky, but so proud and yells, “Look at me, Mommy!”, he’s saying that he’s taking more chances and doing things without me. I know that will happen more and more, but for now, he still wants to include me in that adventure, even if it’s from a distance. I may want to run over and rescue him, to keep him safe, but it’s my job to smile and say, “I see you and I am so excited for your adventure!”
It’s not just a child’s nature to share our triumph’s and adventures. When I’ve achieved something - made a great meal, told a good joke, conquered a fear - I want to share that with someone. I want to yell, “Look at me!” Maybe that’s why I like Facebook and Twitter so much. It’s also why I call my Mom, my Dad, my Sister, my Colin when something cool happens - I want to share that moment. That’s how we are created. We are made to share life with others - our triumphs & tragedies.
So smile & wave when they say, “Look at me, Mommy!” and don’t forget to say “Look at me!” sometimes too!
He’s saying that a lot more lately, but in that moment, when he was swinging and he so desperately wanted me to look at what he was doing, it really hit me.
There’s a lot wrapped up in that statement from a child to a parent. When Jude asks me to look at him, at what he’s doing, he’s making a statement about my importance in his life. He wants my validation for his activities, for who he is. He also wants to make sure that I approve, that I think he’s going to be safe and ok. He wants me to join him in that moment so that we can share it together. We can remember those times together.
He also saying that he’s growing more independent and doesn't need me in the same ways that he used to. When he’s climbed to the top of a play structure by himself and stands there a bit shaky, but so proud and yells, “Look at me, Mommy!”, he’s saying that he’s taking more chances and doing things without me. I know that will happen more and more, but for now, he still wants to include me in that adventure, even if it’s from a distance. I may want to run over and rescue him, to keep him safe, but it’s my job to smile and say, “I see you and I am so excited for your adventure!”
It’s not just a child’s nature to share our triumph’s and adventures. When I’ve achieved something - made a great meal, told a good joke, conquered a fear - I want to share that with someone. I want to yell, “Look at me!” Maybe that’s why I like Facebook and Twitter so much. It’s also why I call my Mom, my Dad, my Sister, my Colin when something cool happens - I want to share that moment. That’s how we are created. We are made to share life with others - our triumphs & tragedies.
So smile & wave when they say, “Look at me, Mommy!” and don’t forget to say “Look at me!” sometimes too!
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