Finding the Me in Mothering

This is an article I wrote for our most recent MOPS Newsletter...

Hi, my name is Melissa, I’m Jude’s Mom, oh and I used to be so much more!

When I got married, the plan was that we weren’t going to have children. I was happy with that decision for years, 7 years in fact. We changed our minds and Jude was born a couple months after our 8 year anniversary.

In the time “pre-Jude” we did a lot. We lived in 3 different countries, travelled quite a lot, did some missions work and then we settled down here in Oregon, and I embarked on a career in the church. I had an amazing time, I was daily challenged, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, creatively and as a leader. I had quite a bit of responsibility and I loved it, though at times it was exhausting. When I got pregnant, my initial thought was that I would return to work. I took six weeks off after Jude was born and then went back to work (way too soon!). By twelve weeks I had resigned, jumped off the career path, let go of my work responsibilities and took on a whole new and unexpected role.

I love being a Mom, I never knew I would love it so much. It challenges me daily, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, creatively and as a leader. However, some days, it just feels like monotony, eat, sleep, change dirty diapers, worry about Jude, play games with Jude, sing silly songs to Jude. Gone is the daily interaction with other adults, brainstorming ideas, making things happen. Many days it’s just me and Jude. It’s taken me a while to realize that I’m still the same person I was before I became Jude’s mom. I’m learning to express my creativity in different ways and to understand that my role as a leader has never been more important.

There are days when I still get a bit nostalgic for the “good old days”, when I long for an adult-sized challenge or a conversation about anything besides kids, but more and more I am realizing that I am right where I am supposed to be, doing what I love. And if I happen to meet you for the first time, I’ll say, “Hi, my name is Melissa, I’m Jude’s Mom.